critical reading for the rude

hehe, brainmail

This tickled amused me, so I’m reprinting it:

From Warren Ellis
Date Jul 3, 2007 3:35 PM
Subject Brainmail
Body: FAQ:1) I will not get you a job.2) I will not give you money.2a) Unless your services are, you know, extraordinary.

3) I will not do your homework for you.

3a) Yes, your thesis is your bloody homework. Get a job.

3b) And, let’s face it, if your thesis depends (as so many requests seem to do) on me spending 1000 words telling you what I think of some superboy comic you want me to talk about, you’re heading for a life of disappointment and emptiness and you are going to die confused and crying.

3c) And yes, I can tell when said request is actually a thinly disguised attempt to get an interview for your poxy website.

4) I will not advise you on your writing.

4a) I will not, no, stop everything to help you come up with the correct sound effect for someone shitting themselves/

5) I will not take you on as my apprentice.

5a) I will not take you on as my “filthy assistant.”

5b) Well, okay, I might take you on as my “filthy assistant.”. But I shouldn’t. I’d have to hide you in a secret apartment and stuff, and, you know…

July 3, 2007 - Posted by | blogs

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